BALTO 1 Bloopers & Outtakes
by Hunting Lightning
Summary: A look behind the humorous process of the film of our beloved Wolfdog. (Updated)


BALTO 1 Bloopers and Outtakes

**Hey! It's me again. I'm now going to present to you a made up blooper series which are inspired by various animated-for-fun outtakes bloopers from a lot of our favorite animated films** **and ****cartoon**** shows (Ex. The Lion King, Toy Story 2, A Bug's Life, ETC), as well as actual gag reels from our other favorite movies and sitcoms too (Ex. Back To The Future, ETC). This all for fun and laughs, and is a slight crossover story through surprise cameos with some other characters and elements. I might get to the sequels very soon. But for now, let's focus on the first film. NOTE: I own none of the following characters and/or elements. They belong to their rightful owners.**

**(****V****)**

{Beep}

Scene Title:

(Boris is no spring chicken)

Crew member: "Alright. Scene… and marker."

Clapboard: Clack!

Boris (The Director): "And… Action!" (Off-screen, creates his yells) "Hoi~Ha-!"

(Balto successfully pulls off the stunt, but the dummy misses its mark and lands onto the off-screen ground with a heavy, loud 'whump!' instead.)

Balto: (Looks out of the window, a bit perplexed at the sound of dummy's landing, before turning to the camera the 'real' Boris.) "I dunno, Boris. Do you think 'he' (referring to the dummy) need to lose some weight in order to fly?"

Kodi: "He sounded pretty heavy."

Kodi, Balto, Boris, and crew: (Laughs)

Boris: "Okay, let's reset."

**(****V****)**

{Beep}

Scene Title:

(Jenna and Balto's first contact)

Crew member: "Marker."

Clapboard: Clack!

Boris: "And… Action!"

(Balto slips towards Jenna as planned. But…)

Balto and Jenna: "Whoa!!!"

(Both slip pass their mark and crash into some set pieces off-camera.)

Boris: "Cut!"

(Balto and Jenna return into camera shot.)

Jenna: "I think there was too much wax on the 'snow'."

Balto: "We need a janitor more than a shoveler."

All: (Laughs)

**(****V****)**

{Beep}

Scene Title:

(Jenna...)

Crew member: "Marker..."

Clapboard: Clack!

Balto: "Jenna? (clears throat, but goes too deep.) Jenna... Er... (grows unintentionally higher) Jenna~ (then ends up sounding like Elvis Presley) Jenna."

Jenna and crew: (Laughs)

Balto: (Still in his Elvis voice) "Thank you... Thank you very much."

**(V)**

{Beep}

Scene Title:

(Mambo)

Crew member: "Scene… Marker…"

Clapboard: Clack!

Boris: "Action!" (Then jumps into character) "When the angel Balalaikas strum the sweet song of love… Mambo!" (Proceeds to dance.)

Balto: "Nah… She's-" (Then notices someone to left of the camera, off-screen) "Wha-?! Jenna?! What are you doing?"

(Boris stops dancing and also looks before the camera pans to Jenna, dancing.)

Jenna: "Doing the Mambo, duh…" (doing the exact same moves as Boris.)

Balto: "Well, if you can't lick 'em, join 'em." (Proceeds to copy the moves.)

Crew and Boris: (Laughs)

**(****V****)**

{Beep}

Scene Title:

(Steele mocking Balto)

Crew member: "Marker…"

Clapboard: Clack!

Steele: "Get outta' here, Wolfdog. You better get pack to your own back-" (realizes he screwed up his line) "I mean back to your own pack!" (Facepalms talks to himself) "Yeah! That's it, stupid… how could you mess that up?"

All: (Laughs)

Steele: "Can I have another look at the script?"

Boris: "Okay… you can practice some more."

**(****V****)**

{Beep}

Scene Title:

(Muk and Luk's race to the shore)

Crew member: "…Marker…"

Clapboard: Clack!

Boris: "Race you to the shore! 1, 2, 3, GO!"

(Muk and Luk start, but then Luk stumbles towards the camera and crashes into it, making it tumble and turn upwards to the studio roof.)

Luk: (breaking out of character, speaks) "Oh, dear! Did I ruin the take? I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Is the camera OK?"

Boris: (Goes over and checks camera) "Don't fret… Camera is in top condition. Now, let's reshoot, Ok?"

**(****V****)**

{Beep}

Scene Title:

(Under the boiler room)

Crew member: "And… marker."

Clapboard: Clack!

Jenna: "No problem there. It's so gloomy down here. Not that I'm scared- AAHH!"

(Jenna gets startled to see a spider on the cobweb in front of her only to then realize it was a toy.)

All crew, cast, Boris, and Balto: (Laughing and Hooting)

(Jenna quickly realizes she had been pranked. She playfully glares in the direction of the camera while smiling.)

Jenna: "You guys are horrible." (Laughs as well.)

(Camera pans to Balto, still laughing, though now in titters.)

**(****V****)**

{Beep}

Scene Title:

(Encountering the bear 1)

{Surprise cameo #1}

Crew member: "Take 1."

Clapboard: Clack!

Boris: "Action!" (Switches into character, and leans against the black furred belly of the bear.) "Now what?"

(He feels against the stomach, gulps, looks up, and sees… Oddjob from "Goldfinger".)

Boris: "Cut! Cut! Cut! Who let this character in? (Turns to Oddjob) Oddjob, you are great guy, but you are in the wrong movie. (Turns back to the camera) Alright! Let's reshoot scene."

**(****V****)**

{Beep}

Scene Title:

(Encountering the bear 2)

{Surprise cameo #2}

Crew member: "Take 2."

Clapboard: Clack!

(Boris feels against the stomach, gulps, looks up, and sees… Jaws from "The Spy Who Loved Me" and "Moonraker".)

Boris: "Cut! Who keeps letting in the "James Bond" Henchmen on set? (Turns to Jaws.) Jaws, loved you in the "Bond" series, but you are in wrong franchise."

**(****V****)**

{Beep}

Scene Title:

(Muk and Luk to the rescue)

Crew member: "…Marker…"

Clapboard: Clack!

Muk: "Geronimo!"

(Luk mimics the Cavalry trumpet charge as he and Muk jump into the frozen lake. Muk breaks through successfully, but Luk ended up landing through Muk's ice hole, and gets stuck. Luk looks dumbfounded, looking around the hole, before he then just drums his claws against the artificial surface, looking annoyed.)

Crew, Boris and Jenna: (Laughs)

(Muk joins in the laughter after getting out from the water, off-screen.)

Luk: (speaks in sarcasm) "Very funny. Always pick on the big guy. Now, could someone please help me get out of this tight spot?"

**(****V****)**

{Beep}

Scene Title:

(Jenna fighting the bear)

{Surprise cameo #3}

Clapboard: Clack!

Boris: "Action!"

(Jenna's stunt double lands in the exact place as it played out in the movie after the bear threw her off the first time. This was the take kept in the final film. The rest of it was an outtake.)

Boris: "Cut! Very good! That was good stunt! You alright, Cyn?"

Cyn Wolf: (Gets up) "Honestly, you would have gotten brain damage from that tumble, Jenna."

Jenna: "Geez, your fun, Cyn."

Boris: "Right. We'll edit this part out."

**(****V****)**

{Beep}

Scene Title:

(Steele gets hot buns: Demo reel rehearsal #1)

(Jenna was playing Steele and Balto was portraying Jenna.)

Balto: "Gee, Steele… I have to admit your offer is very tempting."

Jenna: "It is." (Chuckles)

Balto: "But, these days, I preferred my meat… cooked."

(Both Balto and Jenna as well as the rest of the crew couldn't help but laugh from their demonstration of the scene. Even Steele was laughing.)

Steele: (Laughing) "Woo… Ok… THAT was good… Right, now I know how it will go down. 'Kay, I'm ready, director."

Boris: "Okay, let's reset shoot for real."

**(****V****)**

{Beep}

Scene Title:

(Boris vs Snowball)

{Surprise cameo #4}

Clapboard: Clack!

Crew member: "…Marker…"

(Boris turns to Muk and Luk to shush at them, only for him to get hit by… a white, fluffy Pomeranian.)

Both: "OWH!"

Boris: (Getting up) "Cut! Cut! Cut!" (Picks up the Pomeranian) "Who's idea was it to throw Snowball?!"

Crew member: (off-screen) "But you said to throw Snowball-"

Boris: "**A** _snowball_! _Not_ **Snowball**!" (Looks over to Snowball) "You alright, dear?"

Snowball: (Groggily) "Always happens to me every Winter…"

**(****V****)**

{Beep}

Scene Title:

(Accidental Easter Egg #1)

Crew member: "Marker…"

Clapboard: Clack!

(Boris raises his head from the snow after the snowball smacks him in the back of the head.)

Boris: "**Okay**… That's **_it_**."

(All crew members laugh at Boris' new "hairdo".)

Boris: "What? What's so funny?"

Kodi: "Hey, Doc! Like the new hairdo!" (Laughs)

(Boris feels around his head to realize that the snow was like Doc Brown's hair from "Back To The Future".)

Boris: "Oy…" (Facepalms) "Hope we don't get sued."

**(****V****)**

{Beep}

Scene Title:

(Accidental Easter Egg #2)

Crew member: "Marker…"

Clapboard: Clack!

(Balto and Boris arrived to the shore to see Muk and Luk panickingly splash about in shallow water, thinking that they were drowning.)

Boris: "Toons! Fellas-!" (Stops when he realizes that he said the wrong line.)

Cast and Crew: (Laughs)

Balto: (Lightly nudges him) "Wrong role and movie, 'Uncle Valiant'." (Joins in on the laughter.)

Boris: (Donning on the Eddie Valiant hat and voice, playing along.) "I'll be with Roger if you need me."

(Laughter overlaps)

**(****V****)**

{Beep}

Scene Title:

(Not my type: Demo reel rehearsal #2)

(Jenna once again plays a male role, but this time, she is playing Balto while Balto is Boris.)

Balto: "And what is so interesting?"

Jenna: "Jenna…"

Balto: "Is love… So go make move… When the angel Balalaikas strum the sweet song of love… Mambo!" (Proceeds to dance.)

Jenna: "Nah… She's not my type." (Couldn't hold in her laughter any longer before finally giving in.)

Jenna, Balto, Boris, and crew: (All laughs overlap)

Boris: (Tittering) "Ok… let's do scene for real…" (snorts chuckles)

**(****V****)**

{Beep}

Scene Title:

(Accidental Easter egg #3)

(Star is playing around with the icicles in the cave, but when he came to the final one… it made him look like Bugs Bunny.)

Star: "N'Yep… What's up, Doc?"

Crew and cast: (Roars in laughter.)

Boris: "Okay… hopefully "Warner Brothers" don't sue us."

**(****V****)**

{Beep}

Scene Title:

(The Three Stoo-dogs)

Clapboard: Clack!

Boris: "Action!"

Nikki: "That son of a…"

Kaltag: He's the most malicious, disgusting, obnoxious, revolting, repulsive-"

Star: "He's not a lap dog."

(Kaltag looks at Star in annoyance, but instead raising his fist as planned, he had forgotten and improvises by trying to eye-poke him, but gets blocked by Star's paws.)

Star: "N'yuk, N'yuk, N'yuk…"

Kaltag: (Holds out his paws) "You see that?"

(Star hits it, Kaltag's arm spins, hits Star with his fist.)

Nikki: "Hey leave him alone."

Kaltag: (Slaps Nikki) "Shad up."

(Nikki pushes Kaltag unintentionally into Star. Kaltag attempts to poke him, but is stopped by Star, Kaltag slaps him. Brings his attention back to Nikki, who covers his face, but Kaltag slaps his paws, making Nikki open them, then pokes his eyes, only for Nikki to reclose in paws. Kaltag continues this process repeatedly.)

Star: "Oh, wise guy…"

(Both he and Nikki flutter their paws in front of Kaltag's face before bringing them down rapidly. Kaltag realizes he had been had before he bopped both of them in the stomachs and then the heads.)

Star: "Whoop, Whoop, Whoop, Whoop, Whoop, Whoop!"

Everyone: (Laughs and applauses)

(Kaltag, Nikki and Star bow until they bop each other's heads with themselves, getting more rounds of laughter.)

Boris: (Walks in front of the camera) "I'm glad I hired these guys." (Chuckles)

{Beep}

**So, what did you think? Good? Could've done with some more bloopers? Let me know in the review section. I am aware of a Balto blooper fanfiction does already exist, but I really felt the need to express my own version of Balto bloopers and it was nagging at my brain for a while now and was begging itself to be let out. Also, the other characters involved in this story is a sneak peek at the many crossovers I will be tackling soon. Hope you all enjoyed this fic.**

**(Here's a separate note to the Fanfiction site's policy-makers: you say it is against the rules to post blooper fics and to use script format, but you don't seem to make a big deal about the other blooper fics that also have script format that are posted. So, why prohibit that term if there are readers who like these types of stories?)**


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